Barney's Theories - List them here!

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Permalink Reply by Mayor Pike on March 22, 2017 at 5:19pm

Barney was certain he could get the bank robber of a quarter of a million to come to him by throwing around some money, planting some rumors of "deuces wild" poker games with Floyd, and looking like "ready money". Also knowing the "FBI handshake" would be helpful. 

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Permalink Reply by Bill Buntin on April 13, 2017 at 7:54pm

Give em 35 they'll take 40, you give em 40, they'll take 45, you give em 45, they'll take 50....

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Permalink Reply by Mayor Pike on April 14, 2017 at 7:44am

Especially true for Gilly Walker. All he does is speed, speed, speed! 

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Permalink Reply by Franklin Dickerson on April 14, 2017 at 3:19pm

A way to revolutionize the whole world of modern education was a way to remember things, like dates for instance.  1776. Number 1 was easy since its the first number in the alphabet, then just remember- lucky 7, then remember it again because you just did, then, just take away 1 from seven.

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Permalink Reply by Mayor Pike on April 15, 2017 at 2:28pm

This method helped him remember what the Emancipation Proclamation was.

It was a proclamation. 

A proclamation about emancipation. 

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Permalink Reply by Franklin Dickerson on April 15, 2017 at 8:25pm

Well yeah,  see...  There was these folks and they wanted to get themselves emancipated, so they got themselves a proclamation. And they called it the emancipation proclamation. How else were they supposed to get themselves emancipated without a proclamation?

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Permalink Reply by Dr. Pendyke on April 17, 2017 at 4:10pm

Ol' Barn thought it was a bad idea for children to have imaginary friends. It would really mess up their petulla omligatas.

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Permalink Reply by Bernie Fife on April 17, 2017 at 5:03pm

Crocheting is very therapetic. (And knitters and crocheters seldom have stomach disorders.)

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