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Barney had theories on many things, thanks in part to all of his Learn-a-Month readings. Also he was an avaracious reader of the childish classics. Interrogation methods, science, law, fighting fire, dogs & lighting, you name it!

Let's start listing them here!

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Barney was certain he could get the bank robber of a quarter of a million to come to him by throwing around some money, planting some rumors of "deuces wild" poker games with Floyd, and looking like "ready money". Also knowing the "FBI handshake" would be helpful. 

Give em 35 they'll take 40, you give em 40, they'll take 45, you give em 45, they'll take 50....

Especially true for Gilly Walker. All he does is speed, speed, speed! 

A way to revolutionize the whole world of modern education was a way to remember things, like dates for instance.  1776. Number 1 was easy since its the first number in the alphabet, then just remember- lucky 7, then remember it again because you just did, then, just take away 1 from seven.

This method helped him remember what the Emancipation Proclamation was.

It was a proclamation. 

A proclamation about emancipation. 

Well yeah,  see...  There was these folks and they wanted to get themselves emancipated, so they got themselves a proclamation. And they called it the emancipation proclamation. How else were they supposed to get themselves emancipated without a proclamation?

Ol' Barn thought it was a bad idea for children to have imaginary friends. It would really mess up their petulla omligatas.

Crocheting is very therapetic. (And knitters and crocheters seldom have stomach disorders.)




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