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All of the lessons learned in Mayberry were certainly not learned at Mayberry Union High.  Let's think about important lessons learned by Mayberry citizens:

Opie learned a valuable lesson about heedless actions when he killed the mother bird with his slingshot. By the time he had raised those babies and let them fly free he was a more mature young man. 

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Aunt Bee learned a hard lesson about bargain shopping when she forgot to consider things like taste, toughness, loyalty to her local butcher, and the condition of her freezer.  She also learned that sometimes the best thing you can do is just  call the man.

Barney learned not to tell Gomer anything about his relationship with Thelma Lou! The "hip pocket" remark did not go so well. 

Howard learned that giving up the rat race and stress of the county title department, to go live on the beach, wasn't all it was cracked up to be. 

(Life on the beach doesn't sound relaxing to me at all right now.)

Andy sometimes seemed a little thick-headed. In "The Return Of Malcolm Merriweather", it took almost the whole episode for him to realize that Aunt Bee was most happy when she was being a busy homemaker.

One lesson ole Barn never did learn was that he was a really BAD singer.  Never could understand that, though.  That morning when he and Andy were harmonizing on "Lose All Their Guilty Stains" his voice was extra fine.  Maybe his uvula or that oblongata-thing suffered an injury or strain and it was all downhill from there.

He did improve a bit however with the help of Miss Poultice. His "me theys" were definitely an improvement from his debut as first tenor singing good ol' 14A. Not quite as good as Leonard Blush though.  

AND his breathing--WOW!!  Eleanora could put a breathing lesson on a feller.  I agree with you,  Mayor.  Barn couldn't hold a candle to L.B.  I don't think Barney could have stood the stress of singing at the insecticide convention like Leonard did.  

I bet it was the water and honey mixture he kept spraying in his mouth.  All the great singers use it. Even Leonard Blush.

Ernest T. learned a lot of things during his education under Miss Crump -- boundaries of the United States including all Kelsey bodies of water, his sentence, and the  foot stomping method of arithmetic -- but I was most impressed with all the social graces he learned from Andy.

How do you do missus Wy LEE.

A lesson I did not learn but so wish I had- "Running away from a punch in the nose can hurt a whole lot worse than gettin' one." 50 years later and it still preys on my mind.

Well if it helps any Keevy, remember how it played out when Floyd punched that other man in the nose  and things went back and forth for no good reason at all. These days things might just escalate until some kid went home and got a gun.  It's your bully who should have something preying on his mind, not you.




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