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Permalink Reply by Allan "Floyd" Newsome on January 4, 2012 at 10:22pm

Nobody can pick one...that's the beauty of this site.  When you think of a great line, you can come back here and post it for all to read and laugh about.  One of my favorite scenes, or to fit the topic..many lines all put together, it the "Poor Horatio" segment with Andy and Opie in the courthouse ("Opie's Charity").  I roll every time I see it.

Opie: I've never seen one.
Andy: One what?
Opie: A half a boy.

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Permalink Reply by jeff Wayne on August 11, 2012 at 6:43pm

 citizens arrest

 

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Permalink Reply by Allan "Floyd" Newsome on January 5, 2012 at 8:30am

BARN: Oh, he's loaded.

Floyd: I wonder how he got all that money.

Barn: You kiddin? Wilson's Orthopedic Insoles?

Floyd: That's the Charlie Wislon we know?

Barn: Yeah . . . got out of the fruit stand business and made a bundle.....he's a smart man......knew where the money was.

FLOYD: There's a lot of bad feet in this country.

BARN: Daddy you are sooo right.

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Permalink Reply by Robin Wilson on January 5, 2012 at 4:43pm

YAY WILSONS!! lol!!  that's a good 'un

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Permalink Reply by Allan "Floyd" Newsome on January 5, 2012 at 12:19pm

I know this is MUCH more than one line but I LOVE THIS. It's from "The Darling Baby". Enjoy. :

BARNEY: You know, a few years back a similar thing happened to me.
ANDY: Yeah?
BARN: Maybe I never told you about it. The girls name was Halcyon Loretta
Winslow.
ANDY: Pretty name.
BARN: Ugliest girl you ever saw in your life. What happened was her father got it in
his head that I should marry Halcyon. You know, he saw my picture in the
paper. You remember when I won that church raffle--four free haircuts?
ANDY: Oh, yeah. Picture's all over the front page.
BARN: You know how that affects people. The go crazy. Right away, he saw civil
servant, security. Right? Then he saw unmarried, and at the time I was only
three-oh.
ANDY: Thirty.
BARN: Right. He saw in me an untapped source of lifetime happiness for his ugly
daughter. So, needless to say they got my phone number from the barber
and the rest is history
ANDY: I don't believe I ever heard of it.
BARN: You didn't? Well I'll tell ya', it's like a tale outta two cities.
First, I only saw the old man for about a week. He made me a
tempting offer: third interest in a prune-pitting operation.
ANDY: There's a lot of money in that.
BARN: Well, you gotta like it. Full use of the company car, an interest
in the family home, and a beautiful hillside plot in the
Mt. Pilot cemetery.
ANDY: That burial plot alone is worth a fortune.
BARN: You know me. When opportunity knocks, ol' Barn's got to at least take a
peek and see if there's anybody on the stoop. Anyway, the old man made a
date for all of us to meet down at Klein's Coffeehouse for American cheese
and garni.
ANDY: Yeah. You finally met her, huh?
BARN: Oh boy.
ANDY: Not to pretty?
BARN: Beasto maristo. I'll tell ya', that cheese sandwich stuck right there for about
three days.
ANDY: How'd you finally get off the hook?
BARN: Well, first of all, I paid for my own cheese sandwich.
ANDY: Wipe out any obligations.
BARN: Right. Then I took the old man to one side and I told him straight out, N-O,
a flat no dice.......But he kept after me, letters phone calls, driving that
company car by all shiny and new. But I held my ground. Pretty soon he got
the idea, and that was the end of it.
ANDY: Whatever happened to Halcyon?
BARN: Well, you know she went east to one of them schools where they trim you
down, clear your skin, make you walk around with a book on your head.
ANDY: Don't tell me she turned out to be beautiful?
BARN: No. She's still ugly, single, and pitting prunes.

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Permalink Reply by Emmett Clark on January 14, 2012 at 3:10am

HAHAHA  Great quote.   Love that scene.....thanks for posting that, Floyd.   Just don't go spreading it around what Barney said about Halcyon....you know how you are.....telegraph, telephone, tell Floyd.     LOL

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Permalink Reply by Julie G on January 5, 2012 at 3:47pm

"I hate the sun.  When i got out into the sun, I get the Herpes."~Lydia

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Permalink Reply by Robin Wilson on January 5, 2012 at 4:45pm

I love Lydia!! She is so deadpan with her delivery it's hilarious!  

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Permalink Reply by Julie G on January 5, 2012 at 9:41pm

Yes, she is...really funny stuff.  I saw the actress that played Lydia the other day in an episode of The Twilight Zone.  She had black hair, but was very recognizable.

 

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Permalink Reply by Robin Wilson on January 6, 2012 at 10:08am

cool! i will def check that out, I've been wanting to see her in something else.  If I remember right, her character is from greensboro, right?  My sister lives there so I get tickled when i watch the episode where they mention it

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Permalink Reply by Emmett Clark on January 14, 2012 at 3:06am

You know, her name, Lydia means Native of Lydia, but that's not where she's from....she's from Greensboro.   

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Permalink Reply by Robin Wilson on January 14, 2012 at 4:42am

HAHA, Thanks Ron! I thought so, but wasn't totally sure.  I really need to watch that episode again...Funny Stuff!  We also love the time they mention Ft Lauderdale when Barney gets kicked out of Mrs Mendlebright's for cooking chili and hiding it in the dresser that "came by bus all the way from Ft Lauderdale" 

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