Have you ever wondered if the folks in Mayberry ever had any complaints?
I want to have some fun and speculate--the comedian in me is very excited to do. And remember: this is for fun. If Aunt Bee shows up at my house with Floyds walking stick to hit me over the head with...then I'll know I went too far :-)
Well begin with Aunt Bee.
On a bright clear warm morning Aunt Bee goes to do laundry. Oh, she's smiling and humming and thinking about if she wants to bake an apple pie of blackberry cobbler...right?
No way!
"Opie...ketchup stains...mustard stains...grass stains. Who do they think I am?" Aunt Bee mumbles. "And Andy...he wears so cologne to impress Ellie his clothes stink worse than a skunk. I can never wash out the smell. And after this I have to go inside and wash the dishes because it might break their hands to wash a milk or coffee cup!"
A little on the dramatic side? Maybe (grinning), but I'm sure there were times when Aunt Bee have a few grumbles when her family wasn't within ear shot. She wasn't the perky, happy, smiling woman you always saw. When the cameras vanished...Aunt Bee stopped smiling. Ever wonder why Andy stayed at the courthouse all the time?
What about Thelma Lou?
On a bright, clear, warm morning we find Thelma Lou doing some shopping. Oh, she's smiling and humming and thinking about going on a date with Barney...right?
No way!
"That two-faced liar! I just know he called Juanita at the diner again! I should slap his face off!"
A little on the dramatic side? Maybe (grinning). But I'm sure there were times when Thelma Lou wondered why she was playing second fiddle to some unseen waitress. I bet there were times when Thelma Lou wanted to make sure Barney left her home with no hair on his head.
A baldless deputy would have been a riot to see.
What about Andy?
On a bright, warm, morning we find Andy in the courthouse sweeping and smiling and thinking just how happy he is to have Barney as his deputy...right?
No Way!
"That dumb Barney...it's a wonder he can tie his own shoes. Almost shot himself in the foot again. Couldn't catch a crook if his life depended on it. If he wasn't family I'd fire him. Hr's driving me up the wall. I've patched up more bullet holes in the floor then I can count!"
A little on the dramtic side? Maybe (grinning). But I'm sure when Andy was alone in the courthouse he had a few mumbles and grumbles about Barney from time to time. I can't imagine how much Barney's medical insurance cost the county with him carrying a gun around :-)
And least but not least, what about Barney?
On a bright, warm, morningwe find Barney strolling around Mayberry tipping his hat and smiling and thinking just how nice it is to be a small town deputy...right?
Well, this is Barney we're talking about.
"Yep, Mayberry couldn't get along without me. Andy is so dimwitted and gullable he would let criminals walk all over him. Ol' Barney Fife has to keep law and justice in this town." Barney pats his gun. "This baby does all my talking."
Maybe the only complaints Barney had was there wasn't enough tear gas, machine guns and riot gear in the jail :-)
I suppose our dear friends in Mayberry are just like anyone else. They had their complaints--but at the end of the day (or at least when the cameras were rolling) the smiles and happiness returned.
What about you? What complaints do you think our friends in Mayberry might have had?
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